Back in December 2023, I embarked on a wonderful escape from my reality in the continental United States. My primary destination was Auckland, New Zealand. My secondary destination was Honolulu, Hawaii. Both cities were wonderful to explore and photograph. The story that I plan to share with you took place at the entrance of the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific, a very picturesque, enchanting location (situated in Punchbowl Crater, which is an actual crater).
I had an extremely nasty encounter with an employee of the Cemetery — so repulsive that I couldn’t let it go (which is rare for me, especially while on vacation when my mood is typically lighter and less serious). I reported the incident to the Cemetery’s management. The individual with whom I spoke had requested that I send him an email to summarize what had happened so he could have a written account. To be candid, I thoroughly respected his request because I believe it’s paramount to always have written, tangible receipts when controversy occurs. Trying to recall words of a verbal altercation is difficult, especially as more time passes from the incident. (TIP ONE: Photographers, write stuff down on a notepad, or via text on your cellphone. Alternatively, record a voice memo on your cellphone so you don’t have to rack your brain trying to recall details later. Also take photos of your immediate surroundings if you believe these images will help you remember details).
In this story, shared in the format of a real correspondence via email, I have changed the names of those involved as well as redacted their official titles given that I was dealing with the federal government, which is always so much fun (yes, that was some very bitter sarcasm). The first email (in purple text) was from me to the recipient. The second email (in green text) was the response from the recipient.
Hi SpongeBob:
We just spoke on the phone for several minutes. You provided me with your email address so I could submit a written statement about what occurred this morning.
First and foremost, thank you and mahalo for taking the time to calmly, courteously, and professionally explain the reasons why I should not have been engaging in photography at the ledge adjacent to the cemetery this morning. It would have been helpful to have heard your reasons this morning on the grounds in the same way you discussed them with me over the phone, which was not the case.
I arrived before 7am to take some photographs of the Honolulu skyline, based on recommendations from my friends in Auckland, New Zealand, from where I traveled to Honolulu for a temporary visit before I return home to Seattle this weekend. Based on the recommendations I received from my friends in Auckland, I was ignorant of the fact that photographing the skyline was among the prohibited activities at the Cemetery. I was under the impression that this was a common — perhaps “touristy” — practice. I now understand, wholeheartedly, from your explanation, that photography is neither a common activity nor encouraged at the Cemetery.
My most significant complaint has to do with your colleague or coworker who goes by the name of Grendel, who, if I understand correctly, is the Director of XXXXXXXXX for the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific.
From what I can gather, Grendel approached the security guard for a few minutes and returned to the cemetery building on Puowaina Drive. A few minutes later, the security guard approached me and said that I needed to leave because I was “loitering”. This came across as very odd because I had already been taking photographs for close to 20 minutes (for the oncoming sunrise). The security guard had seen me when I arrived and did not tell me that I was loitering or should not be there.
The security guard stated that he had to comply with the orders he had received from Grendel.
I respected that fact and began to prepare my photography equipment, which included my camera, tripod, and backpack.
While I was packing my belongings, I recognized Grendel walking outside of the cemetery building. I believe a woman was walking with him. This would have been around 7:20am. I walked over to Grendel and introduced myself. Afterwards, I asked him why he had concluded, somehow, that I was loitering when, in my perspective, it was obvious that I was taking photographs.
It was at this stage that Grendel was profoundly rude, unfriendly, and unprofessional in his tone, body language, and delivery in his response to me. He stated: “Because that’s exactly what you were doing. Just loitering on the grounds.” I responded that I was a photographer who had just arrived from New Zealand and visited the site based on recommendation. His response was: “Doesn’t matter. This is federal government property and you do not belong here. You are loitering and you should not be here. You see that sign? Well, if you read it, you would know that you shouldn’t be here. This is government property.”
The way Grendel spoke to me, as the Director of XXXXXXXXXX, was as though I had done some physical damage to the property or something akin to criminal activity. His delivery and behavior were not commensurate with my activity, and did not deserve such belligerence at the crack of dawn.
I was disappointed and offended by his brashness, and I proceeded to leave. When I told the Uber driver, a native of the Hawaiian Islands, what had happened, he apologized and stated that people who live in Hawaii do not usually treat other people this badly, whether they are visitors or residents. He could not believe the experience that I just shared. He also said he would file a complaint if such a situation had happened with him.
I’ve only been to Hawaii twice, but my interaction with Grendel was probably the most offensive, rude, and hostile interaction that I have had with anyone in Hawaii. For whatever reason, Grendel did not like my presence at the Cemetery and immediately dismissed my photography as loitering, and couldn’t be bothered to give a calm and rational explanation.
This brings up another important point.
The “Visitor Information” sign that Grendel referenced (photo attached) makes absolutely NO MENTION of photography as a prohibited activity. I believe the sign may need to be revised so the Cemetery spells this out very clearly. There is a reference to not flying drones, but there is no reference to photography or using tripods. Had this been clearly communicated, I would not have been at the Cemetery this morning.
As I explained to you, as an American citizen, I’m completely aware of this nation’s history, specifically when it comes to the wars that have been fought. If, for a moment, I had known that photography was prohibited, I would not have been at your location this morning. I have too much respect for our veterans as well as our soldiers in uniform to dishonor their collective service and legacies. It is imperative, to me, that this point is understood by the Cemetery.
Please consider revising the “Visitor Information” sign to include photography as a prohibited activity.
Lastly, thanks again, SpongeBob, for taking the time to speak with me today. I’m going to put this experience behind me as it was not a pleasant or positive way to start a brand new day in this beautiful and enchanting state where a much deeper meaning to life, people, and respect for others, still exists. These aspects of Hawaii are not lost to me, and it would be folly on my part to ignore or overlook this situation because I do not believe people should be treated the way Grendel treated me this morning. It does not bode well for the Cemetery, in terms of optics, given his role.
Please let me know if you need any additional details from me.
Thank you and Mahalo for your time!
Best Regards,
Tosin I. Arasi (“toe-sin”)
Professional Photographer
TIA International Photography
Aloha Tosin:
I wanted to confirm receipt of your email.
I appreciated the opportunity to discuss your interaction with Grendel this morning and the feedback you have provided.
I apologize for the way the situation was handled and appreciate your patience and understanding. Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me and explain the details of your interaction. Your feedback is important to me in order for us to continue working to grow and improve our customer service.
I hope the rest of your stay here on Oahu is beautiful and more representative of the aloha spirit.
If you are still looking for places to take pictures of the Honolulu skyline I would recommend the Tantalus Lookout. It is the mountain top just to the east of us. An Uber should be able to drop you off just a couple hundred feet from the overlook area. It is easy access and beautiful scenery. Another option would be Koko Head; it is quite a steep hike to get to the top, but amazing views of Honolulu and the sunrise once you get there. Makapu’u Point Lighthouse Trail is a fairly easy hike on an asphalt paved trail and has some beautiful scenery along some cliffs beside the ocean with an awe-inspiring view of Kaneohe Bay once you are at the top.
Mahalo Nui Loa.
V/R
SpongeBob SquarePants
XXXXXXXXXXXXX Director
National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific (Punchbowl)
That’s all, folks. I will conclude with a second tip.
TIP TWO: Photographers — especially nonwhite photographers — please be very mindful of how you dress and present yourself when you’re on location to take photographs, whether it’s for your own project or a client’s. Our society in the United States is very superficial and shallow in which optics tend to carry much more weight than actual reality. People will make assumptions upon seeing you and accompany them with as many stereotypes and prejudices to wrongly justify those assumptions. In retrospect, I recall that I was wearing a bright salmon-colored hoodie and jeans when this skirmish occurred. Because it was so early in the morning, and the vibe of Honolulu was so mellow and relaxed, I let my guard down and dressed more casually than I would have typically. That was a mistake on my part. Granted, with the type of person Grendel presented himself to be, I could have been wearing a double-breasted, three-piece suit for my photo shoot of the skyline and still been accused of loitering.
Anyway, I just provide this guidance as a friendly suggestion, especially if you’re photographing by yourself. It’s great to have fun while doing what you love, but you also have to mind your surroundings and safety. Always be vigilant so assholes like Grendel don’t dictate the narrative of idiotic situations like the one I described in my letter to SpongeBob.
